Giuseppe Rossi: Props Like The Micro Chip Founder

So, I really had to say something this time. That's right, it took a kid from Teaneck scoring goals for the Italian National Team against the United States National Team to lure me out of semi-retirement. (I still might decide to Roger Clemens the game for next four or five years. We'll see what kind of offers come in.)

I really could never have imagined a stranger scenario. Someone that grew up playing on the same fields as me could win the World Cup one day, or at least the Confederations Cup this month, for Italy.

Even stranger, there's no one player that the U.S. could use more right now than Rossi. Sure there are more skilled players in the world, but he's got that cold-blooded asshole swagger that does an international footballer well. Celebrating like that right in front of your hometown (metaphorically speaking, of course)? Even Cristiano Ronaldo knows not to get down like that.

Sad to say, but the U.S. needs a jerk like this. Landon pretends to be one every now and then, but deep down all he wants to do is chill out on the couch, watch Golden Girls, and play the hackey sack to Dave Matthews.

Giuseppe Rossi wants to eat babies. And then jump into the waiting arms of Daniele de Rossi.