No One on the Corner Has Swagger Like Us

So, just about a year removed from being right there on death's doorstep, Diego Maradona is the head coach of the Argentina national team.

If you can think of an American sporting equivalent to this turn of events, I'm all ears. Maybe Lawrence Taylor coming to coach the Giants?



Shawn Kemp coaching the U.S. Olympic team?



Of course, both of these comparisons fail because of two points.

The Giants are beloved, of course, one of the top five most popular teams in the NFL, I'd guess, but not every man, woman and child in the country is obsessed with this team. Same with the U.S. Olympic basketball team. I mean, even I caught the Gold Medal game against Spain on DVR.

And, of course, neither LT or Kemp have anywhere near the swagger of Maradona. The Reign-Man just got cut from a team in Bologna and LT is endorsing a bootleg video game that can't even get permission from the NFL to use their logos and whatnot.



The only American athlete with anything near Maradona's profile is Michael Jordan.



And, well, he's just not that interesting these days. He smokes cigars and plays golf and pretends to run the Bobcats. Whatever. Maradona, on the other hand, gets hospitalized for hepatitis and severe alcoholism and gives crazy bastards like Chavez and Castro the thumbs-up whenever he gets the opportunity. Or he gets them tattooed on his body.



Meanwhile, MJ can't even film a 30-second spot for Obama.

There has never been a combination of talent, insanity and outright fan worship quite like Maradona. Again, the comparison could be Lawrence Taylor, but when you're walking around the NYC, you don't see dozens of vendors selling t-shirts with his face on it.

So with Maradona just sitting there and the Argentina national team scrambling, this move was inevitable. Why not hand over the reigns to your country's most famous and most talented footballing entity? There's no doubt that he'll give it his best shot, at least.

And the roster really seems to be tailor-made for Maradona. In Messi, Tevez and Aguero (also his son-in-law), he's got three strikers cut right from his mold.



Little, speedy, tough guys who will dribble around defenders, take wild shots, put their bodies on the line and set up their teammates. With Gago and Mascherano, he's got two pit-bulls in the midfield who will clear the way for the mini-strike force.



And with Riquelme pulling the strings, he's got a wacked-out on-field general that could put all these parts together.



Throwing these six all on the pitch together for 90 minutes, doesn't seem like a sensible idea, but neither does punching a ball into the goal during a World Cup quarterfinal against England.



And we all know how that worked out for Diego.