Mets FC: It's Going Down

As has long been rumored, the New York Mets are looking to buy an MLS team and build their own soccer stadium, maybe as soon as the 2011 season.

It's about damn time because, let's face it, the New York Red Bulls are a joke. Juan Pablo Angel is my roll-dawg,



but since the God, Jozy Altidore, left for Spain, there's not one other player on that squad that I would pay money to see. There's not even one other play that I'd turn on my TV to see. Seth Stammler? Andrew Boyens? Sinisa Ubiparipovic? Whatever, guys. I'd rather watch a World Cup qualifying match between Bahrain and Japan.

But, really, the biggest problem with the squad formerly known as the Metrostars, is that they play in a cavernous and ugly football stadium that's a bitch to get to, if you don't have a car. I made the trek out to Giants Stadium for the USA/Argentina game in June and, after waiting in line to get the bus back to the city, I just got home three days ago.

Even worse, the Bulls play on artificial turf--which has been suspected to the be the cause for a rash of injuries for the team, this year--and, now, they're sharing the field with the Giants/Jets so they gotta play around the hash marks and whatnot on a football field. Bush-league.

Red Bull Park is scheduled to open next year, though, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's in Harrison, which they say is next to Newark. I still have my doubts about the location of so-called town but it'll supposedly be on the Path line so I'll definitely run out there to check out a game or two.

Back to Mets FC. Even though the new stadium looks pretty cute,



it still won't be in the five boroughs and for many New Yorkers, that makes all the difference. Throw a soccer stadium anywhere close to an MTA subway stop and every single game will sell out. It's amazing that the Red Bulls/Metrostars missed out on this. Stationing their team out in the suburbs has been their single biggest mistake.

So, yeah, anyone blaming the lack of support for the Red Bulls on a lack of footballing interest in NYC really doesn't know a damn thing.

First of all, New York has a ton of immigrants. And these immigrants have no interest in getting in their (often non-existent) car to watch a team ball it up, when there's a good chance they could actually round up 10 of their friends from the old country and actually not get run off the pitch (assuming Juan Pablo Angel decides to sit out, of course). Put a decent football team in their neighborhood, though, and they'll come out and watch and throw batteries and urine-filled balloons at the opposition.

Second, New York has a ton of hipsters. Let me explain: Communists love soccer. Hipsters love communists. So, therefore, hipsters love soccer.



And this brings me to my grand plan for Mets FC. Obviously, with Citi Field about to make its debut next year, there's a lot of buzz around Flushing and Queens so I'm sure that that'll be the likely location for the new stadium. But, what if they based the team in McCarren Park?



It's relatively easy to get to and it's right in the middle of Williamsburg, a hipster/immigrant hot-spot. When it comes to New York parks, McCaren always takes a back seat to Central, Prospect, Van Cortlandt, etc. This'll be the way to make it stand out. And I gaurantee that a McCarren Soccer Stadium would sell out every single game. Make the team colors pink and black or something, give out free Sparks at the door and its a win-win. I can just picture a recent immigrant from Guatamala sitting in the stands cheering, doing key-bumps right next to a Deerhunter fan in an ironic t-shirt. Good times, all around.

And, of course, a nice new stadium and some owners will some long money in the NYC and the international stars (over 30, of course) will come running. And guess who'll be over 30 in 2011? Thierry Henry, Ronaldinho, Gennaro Gatusso, Steven Gerrard . . .



The list goes on and on.

Let's make it happen Mets FC. I'll be first in line.