The Woodsonian National Institute

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Monday, October 22, 2007

The Best American XI

I guess you could say I'm more into soccer than any other sport these days. That could all change once the Roland L. League of Champions starts up, but these days, I'm more intrigued by names like Cesc Fabregas and Lionel Messi.

To be a soccer fan in the U.S., though, is a kind of futile endeavour. We could win the World Cup before I'm 80, but it's not too likely. The biggest obstacle, of course, is that our best athletes will always play another sport. Football, basketball, even baseball; if you're a true athlete in America and you don't have a wacky dad from Italy who hits on high school girls at family parties, these are the sports you'll go for.

But don't take my word for it. After losing to a Brazilian team filled with the likes of Ronaldinho and Kaka, some of the most graceful pure athletes in the world, and thugs like Alex and Gilberto Silva, tight ends in the NFL if they were born in Akron and took HGH, Landon Donovan had this to say:

"You just saw the best 18 athletes in Brazil, probably, playing. We might have Nos. 75 through 100 of the best athletes in America, if even that. The others are playing other sports."

Thanks, brah.

So this got me thinking, if the best of what the U.S. had to offer had grown up with a soccer ball at their feet instead of a football, basketball or steroid needle/baseball in their hands, who would we trot out there against Robinho and Afonso Alves?

Here's my starting team and some top subs, playing in a 4-4-2 formation:

Goalie: Tim Howard

I'll give it to the Everton keeper in this case. Howard's one of the best in the world, by any account. He's played solidly in the Premier League for many years. He's big, tough, smart and a good leader. I really have no basis to say Shawn Marion or Ben Wallace or etc. would actually be a better option. This job is yours to lose, Timmy.

Center Back: Roy Williams

Just the fact that I'm putting a Cowboy on here should let you know what I think about the King of the Horse Collars. He is a truly intimidating player who always puts his stamp on a game. Not that this team will really need it, but he'd be the enforcer, the last dude back who'd die for his goalie.

Center Back: Raja Bell

I was tempted to put Ron Artest back here, but he may be a smidge too tall for a soccer field. Raja is pretty much the perfect size for a center back and, most importantly, he just loves to defend. Like Roy, he'll also mix it up, but with his height and ability to score, he can also push up on corners and whatnot.

Side Back: Bob Sanders

His lack of height, obviously, won't hurt him on the soccer field. He'll just stay in his winger's face for the entire game, win balls and always look for a way to move it upfield. I'm sure you could replace Sanders with many other safety or cornerback in the NFL, but I'm not watching any of them on TV right now.

Side Back: Brian Westbrook

I know he's not a defender, but something about his build makes me think he'd be suited for moving up and down the wings. Although he's comfortable scoring and making the big play, he's not the flashiest dude and he'd absolutely excel at any type of supporting role. With his speed and strength, he'd be tough to get past.

Left Wing: Allen Iverson

On his club team, AI would be the focal point of the attack, but I'd like to think he'd fall back and play on the wings for my squad. He's faster than almost anybody in the world dribbling a basketball, so it's not a stretch to see him doing the same with a soccer ball. He'd be a natural on either side of the midfield making the most of the space on the wings and then cutting in or even delivering a cross. His underrated passing ability would be on full display.

Right Wing: LaDanian Tomlinson

LDT could pretty much play any position on a soccer field or, for that matter, a football field or a basketball court. Putting him on the right side of the midfield is basically giving him carte blanche. Give him space and let him operate. If he wants to shoot, pass or just dribble for a bit and tire out whomever is defending him, he really can't do any wrong.

Holding/Defensive Midfielder: Jason Kidd

In his younger years, Kidd was Zinedine Zidane. The maestro of any attack and the undisputed leader of whatever team was on the field with on the field. In his later age, though, I see him in more of a Patrick Viera role. The backbone of any attack, the older, calming influence of what will certainly be a frenzied attack and brutal defense from these upstart young Americans. Kidd would be the eye of the storm.

Attacking Midfielder: Dwyane Wade

Wade would be perfect for this role, just setting up/cleaning up for the strikers up top. In the Association, Dwyane can begin or end any play, no matter what situation or what player may be in front of him. As the team's number 10, he'll be a consistent and tireless attacker who always knows when to take a long-range shot, sneak up and steal a goal or fall back and let his strikers or even Kidd, his partner in the center of the field, take over a play.

Striker: Chad Johnson

Chad actually played soccer back in high school and, if I remember reading the article correctly, he could've gone pro, but the money in the NFL is a little bit better than the MLS. Didier Drogba is his favorite player and I see him filling a similar role on this squad. He's got the height and strength to dominate any defender and score in many ways, but he's also got the skill and grace to play off the other attackers.

Striker: Kobe Bryant

We all know he can jump so at the very worst he'll be Peter Crouch with a much better work ethic. But with his skills and intelligence, not to mention pretty ridiculous size, a supernatural athletic ability and a genuine love of scoring, he could be one of the best soccer players we'd ever see. You could say his height may work against him, but Kobe's the type of athlete that would make that work for him. He'd be able to post up and shield smaller defenders and on many plays, just act as a decoy and let dudes like Wade or LDT run around him. And on corners and crosses his jumping would be impossible to defend.

Let's take a look at this:

--------------Bryant----C.Johnson---------------
--------------------Wade------------------------
----AI--------------------------------LDT-------
--------------------Kidd------------------------
-----Sanders--------------------Westbrook-------
-----------R.Williams-------Bell----------------
--------------------Howard----------------------

Not bad, eh?

Top Subs:

Devin Hester


He'd be your instant offense in a tight game. I'm pretty sure that nobody in the world can catch this guy. You could put him on the wings or even take out a side back for him and just watch him go.

Amare Stoudemire

If you're really desperate for a goal, Amare could be your guy. Over a full game, his height would be a liability, but in short bursts, I'm sure he could get it done.

Brian Dawkins

He'd be a pretty suitable replacement for Williams or Bell in the back.

Chris Paul/Deron Williams

These two are in the running for the Jason Kidd role on the team once he inevitably retires from international competition. Deron would have the size to be more of a defensive option whereas Paul would be a tricky center midfielder like Riquelme or Deco who can control the game and make opponents hate themselves.

Reggie Bush

Like LDT, I could also see him play in any position on the field. He's more of a natural in terms of attacking, but on a team like this, his athleticism could be more valuable on defense.

Marvin Harrison

I probably wouldn't think of him if I weren't watching the Colts right now, but he'd be a good option in the midfield if you're looking for a change of pace from dudes like Wade, LDT or AI. He's steady, smart and would know what to do with the ball.

Antonio Gates

With his great hands, size and overall athletic ability, he'd be a suitable backup for Tim Howard.

That's my squad. Who did I miss?

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