2006-07 Thuggin' Western All-Stars
First, an apology to my roll-dawg Vince Carter.
I kept him off the Thuggin' Eastern All-Stars and then he goes and drops 30+ on two very decent Western teams, capping it all off with an insane buzzer-beater in Utah. I still think he might not make the coaches' cut, but he made mine.
Sorry Joe Johnson.
Maybe next year.
Point Guard: Steve Nash
This is his MVP year. If he were playing any other sport, reporters would be rifling through his locker looking for syringes. I'm really not suggesting that he's on anything, but that's the only way I can describe the level he's playing at.
Shooting Guard: Kobe Bryant
Still the best pure basketball player in the universe, it seems as if he's finally shed the superstar who doesn't make his teammates better tag, which I've long thought was bullshit. And it's a testament to his hard work that he's also shooting a career-best 47% while Captain Ass-Clown is the first center on his squad's depth chart,
instead of Big Dies.
Small Forward: Carmelo Anthony
I'm not holding it against him that he popped Mardy Collins in his grill. We need more of that in the NBA. Especially at MSG. The fact that he ran away all Namond Brice-like afterwards hurts his credibility a bit. But, really, if he had stayed there and fought, a riot might have started. Plus, Jared Jeffries really seemed like he lost it and he seems like the serial killer type. The best part of the fight, though, is that when Melo gets to center court with various Knicks chasing, you see Nene emerge from the bench and everything stops.
Surprisingly, nobody but Bill Simmons has mentioned this. But that move is just beyond gully. Its the NBA equivalent of Young Buck shivving the dude who smacked Dre at the Vibe Awards.
So, yeah. Melo gets the start in my book. He keeps raising his game, yada, yada, yada.
Power Forward: Dirk Nowitzki
What a fucking season for the big guy. It's a travesty that Nowitzki and Nash both didn't get voted in as starters, but that's what happens when the majority of voters are under 10 and/or live under a totalitarian regime that's only allowed to watch Rockets game. Dirk is just unstoppable this year. He doesn't miss, he's rebounding better than ever and he's passing more and more. He might be the most impossible player to guard because every play he's just as likely to drive to the hoop as he is to pull up for a mid-range or drain a three. And he's got that look in his eyes this year.
Wait a second . . . So does Steve Nash!
Center: Tim Duncan
Calling Duncan a power forward is the biggest scam in the league. Maybe I don't understand the game as well as Doug Collins, but why exactly is he not a center? Because Gregg Popovich says so? Look, Pop is most likely a Soviet spy who got stuck in Texas when communism fell,
He doesn't wear a tie half the time, he spells "Greg" with two g's, he's well-read and culturally aware and we're supposed to believe that he's a basketball coach in San Antonio? It just doesn't add up. So, when he pencils Duncan in at the 4 and David Robinson is not on the floor, don't buy it. Duncan's a center; the most consistent one on the planet.
Reserves: Allen Iverson, Deron Williams, Tracy McGrady, Ray Allen, Shawn Marion, Kevin Garnett, Amare Stoudemire (That was one of the toughest things I've ever done.)
I kept him off the Thuggin' Eastern All-Stars and then he goes and drops 30+ on two very decent Western teams, capping it all off with an insane buzzer-beater in Utah. I still think he might not make the coaches' cut, but he made mine.
Sorry Joe Johnson.
Maybe next year.
Point Guard: Steve Nash
This is his MVP year. If he were playing any other sport, reporters would be rifling through his locker looking for syringes. I'm really not suggesting that he's on anything, but that's the only way I can describe the level he's playing at.
Shooting Guard: Kobe Bryant
Still the best pure basketball player in the universe, it seems as if he's finally shed the superstar who doesn't make his teammates better tag, which I've long thought was bullshit. And it's a testament to his hard work that he's also shooting a career-best 47% while Captain Ass-Clown is the first center on his squad's depth chart,
instead of Big Dies.
Small Forward: Carmelo Anthony
I'm not holding it against him that he popped Mardy Collins in his grill. We need more of that in the NBA. Especially at MSG. The fact that he ran away all Namond Brice-like afterwards hurts his credibility a bit. But, really, if he had stayed there and fought, a riot might have started. Plus, Jared Jeffries really seemed like he lost it and he seems like the serial killer type. The best part of the fight, though, is that when Melo gets to center court with various Knicks chasing, you see Nene emerge from the bench and everything stops.
Surprisingly, nobody but Bill Simmons has mentioned this. But that move is just beyond gully. Its the NBA equivalent of Young Buck shivving the dude who smacked Dre at the Vibe Awards.
So, yeah. Melo gets the start in my book. He keeps raising his game, yada, yada, yada.
Power Forward: Dirk Nowitzki
What a fucking season for the big guy. It's a travesty that Nowitzki and Nash both didn't get voted in as starters, but that's what happens when the majority of voters are under 10 and/or live under a totalitarian regime that's only allowed to watch Rockets game. Dirk is just unstoppable this year. He doesn't miss, he's rebounding better than ever and he's passing more and more. He might be the most impossible player to guard because every play he's just as likely to drive to the hoop as he is to pull up for a mid-range or drain a three. And he's got that look in his eyes this year.
Wait a second . . . So does Steve Nash!
Center: Tim Duncan
Calling Duncan a power forward is the biggest scam in the league. Maybe I don't understand the game as well as Doug Collins, but why exactly is he not a center? Because Gregg Popovich says so? Look, Pop is most likely a Soviet spy who got stuck in Texas when communism fell,
He doesn't wear a tie half the time, he spells "Greg" with two g's, he's well-read and culturally aware and we're supposed to believe that he's a basketball coach in San Antonio? It just doesn't add up. So, when he pencils Duncan in at the 4 and David Robinson is not on the floor, don't buy it. Duncan's a center; the most consistent one on the planet.
Reserves: Allen Iverson, Deron Williams, Tracy McGrady, Ray Allen, Shawn Marion, Kevin Garnett, Amare Stoudemire (That was one of the toughest things I've ever done.)
posted by Alonzo @ 3:58 PM
3 Comments:
At 11:45 PM,
zlm said…
let's see if melo can do a night in baby-booking.
At 2:33 PM,
nfowle said…
dude you have less stones that carter. his whole problem is that he can score crazy points in the regular season and then chokes in the post (where real champs are made)... you hated on his poor performance last year, now you give him a pass. what gives?
At 3:53 PM,
Alonzo said…
Watching him play this year, I've kind of re-thought my stance on Carter. He is an amazing basketball player. Maybe the best athlete in the league and a crazy shooter, too. Every single game he has at least two plays that make me go "Oh shit!" He just is an All-Star. I know he chokes in the playoffs and takes too many 3s, but if its a choice between Joe Johnson, Rip, Ben Gordon or Vince, I gotta with Vinsanity. There's no other player like him in the league. He deserves to be there.
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