2006-07 Thuggin' Eastern All Stars

Welcome to the new place. I hope you like it.

Anyway, it's that time of year again. It's great because you really can spend the whole day reading trade rumors. This year, especially, if you're a fan of the Nets.



You'll notice Vince is conspicuously absent from my list, the fans' and, I'd guess, the coaches'. He is still avereaging 25, 5 and 5, so he probably deserves a spot. But Kidd, who has more triple-doubles this year than the entire league combined, is a lock. And you can't have two All-Stars from a losing team. So, All-Star weekend without Vince Carter. Gonna be a little weird.

Let's do this.

Eastern Conference

Point Guard: Gilbert Arenas



While I still think Jason Kidd is the best point guard in the East, I'd probably be hunted down and shot by the blogosphere if I didn't start Hibachi. That or he'd come to my apartment and kick my ass in Winning Eleven. To be fair, Gilbert is the best playing point guard in the East. But that's not what he is if you really break it down. Nevertheless, Gilbert is on serious serious next level shit right now. And the Wizards are the best team in the East at the moment. Crazy, right? I was talking to a Washington fan last night and even he had no idea. Even crazier, Eddie Jordan is gonna coach the Eastern Conference team.



Good coach, but even Keith Van Horn must look at him and go, "What the fuck????" Hire a stylist, dude.

Shooting Guard: Dwyane Wade



There's just something about him that I really really don't like. And it's not even the fact that he gets more calls than anyone in the history of organized sports. It's just insane. Still, you can't argue with his numbers or his ring. That's all I'm gonna say about him. He has a better publicist than Kordell Stewart so it doesn't matter what I say. And his actual name, of course, still bothers me.

Small Forward: LeBron James



I can understand some of the criticism he gets about coasting through the season and whatnot. But who are we to judge? LBJ reminds us at every turn that he is a new kind of superstar. Whether it's hiring his roll-dawg to be his agent, signing for a less-than max contract, bringing his small child around porn stars, he's a new breed. And as Phil Jackson, Shaq and Tim Thomas have proven, sometimes it's wise to take it easy during the regular season.



That said, if LeBron doesn't bring his team to the Eastern Conference Finals, at least, this year . . . nothing of great significance will happen, I guess. He's 22 and he owns the universe.

Power Forward: Chris Bosh



I'm not gonna front like I've watched more than maybe three or four Bosh highlights this year, but whenever I see him play I'm amazed at how easily he can score. It's just a matter of time before he starts draining threes. And he's developed pretty quickly. Didn't take him long at all to usurp Jermaine O'Neal as the best 4 in the East.

Center: Dwight Howard



It's a damn shame that Shaq is starting. The mantle of great Florida big men has already been passed to D-How. He'll be grabbing 15, 16 boards a game in a couple years if he's so inclined. His squad will also get some top-line free agent one of these years. NBA players really really love Florida. Just ask Marquis Daniels.



Who's fucking with that team?

Reserves: Jason Kidd, Chauncey Billups, Joe Johnson, Vince Carter, Michael Redd, Caron Butler, Jermaine O'Neal, Ben Wallace